Tall Girl Problems & Short King Energy

We’ve all noticed it before.

A super tall girl, most men choose to avoid, or a super short guy, ladies, we pretend we can’t even see. I think we’ve all seen a taller woman walking past with her shorter boyfriend, and now everyone and their mother has an opinion. Interesting. I’m 6’2, and with heels I’m 6’5. Have I dated a man shorter than me? Yes. Is a shorter man, the dream guy I imagined when I was a kid, no. This blog is going to touch base on the controversial ideas and struggles tall women, and short men face today, and how to combat these stereotypes. 

The Height Stereotype – Why it Exist

Since before I could remember, it was a complete social norm, that the man had to be taller than the woman when it came to relationships or really just in general. I mean think about it ladies, when we were young girls still playing with dolls daydreaming about our wedding, were you and I daydreaming about a man shorter than us? No. I was raised to believe any man I marry, he should be the strong one, the protector, the provider, and in my opinion, a lot of us think, a man can’t protect me if he’s pushing only 5 ‘7. 

Now let’s flip this idea back on to the men, because I’m sure a lot of you guys probably desire, or had ideas about dating a woman who’s shorter than you, dainty, small, feminine. That and in order to protect a woman, and be that “masculine” guy in the relationship, you probably believe you have to be bigger, and taller than your girlfriend. 

I don’t blame us for thinking the way we do! Movies, tv shows, and maybe even our parents have predisposed us into believing this is normal. The first relationship we witness is the relationship between our parents (for some of us). So it’s fair for me to think I want a husband who’s taller than me considering I’ve grown up witnessing my dad being taller than my mom. Any romance movie you can think of, It Ends With Us, The Notebook, To All the Boys I Loved Before. They were all movies where the guy is without a doubt taller than the girl. It wasn’t until Zendaya popped out with Tom Holland, did I ever notice such a confident couple who broke the social norm that a man should be taller than a woman in a relationship (Zendaya’s mom is taller than her dad btw). But as kids, before Tom Holland and Zendaya were even a thing, we seen the way men cared for and babied women in the media, and now we’re all in our heads saying, “I want a man like that!” and then sooner or later our short kings are not desirable, and our taller woman are not ideal.

Reality Check : YOU LACK CONFIDENCE 

Let’s all look in the mirror, and say one thing we like about ourselves. I like that I am different. Being 6’2 makes me stand out, and I cannot change my height, and for another blog post I’ll talk about how I hated being so tall, but for right now I do enjoy my height. I hope my confidence in my height does not go away. 

It’s really unfortunate though, that a lot of us care about what other people think, and if you do, you truly lack confidence. In my brain, I have a true belief most of us will not date a man shorter than us, or a woman taller, because we’re scared of what other people think. YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY ONE. I’ve fallen victim to it.

I’ve caught tall women at bars literally slouching! Why, because they’re insecure around all their shorter friends. It’s really hard being different, for some reason it’s human nature for all of us to just want to fit in, and be accepted. When you’re a tall woman with shorter friends, it’s easy to become self-conscious. It’s easy to want to slouch, and when you see that group of guys across the room, and they’re all shorter than you, IT ABSOLUTELY SUCKS.

In all of our minds we already believe a guy wants a girl shorter than him, and it’s not just the guys fault. Guys lack confidence too, because that guy is probably thinking, I have something to prove, what would the guys think if I pulled up with a girl taller than me, I can’t protect that, blah blah blah.

We are all our own biggest enemy. 

Breaking the Stigma – I was 19 years old

I mean, I’m not here to call people shallow, but if the boot fits. 

The first short guy I dated, I actually enjoyed it for the most part. I mean we didn’t last, and it wasn’t because he was shorter than me… I think I was 19 years old at the time, and believe it or not it was my first relationship!!!! Okay but hear me out, I’ve been tall my entire life, and since I was a freshman in high school, I always desired a man who was taller than me. When I got to college, this 5’11 guy, maybe 6’0, really had the confidence to come talk to me, and I appreciated that. With the amount of hate that short guys get, and that guy at the time had the courage to come up to a 6 ‘2 girl. That’s not common at all. 

But, it was definitely a reality check for me. I was uncomfortable. I didn’t want to bend over to hug him, and it wasn’t like I never bent over to hug someone else, so it wasn’t the bending of the back that made me uncomfortable y’all. It was my predisposed mind screaming at me telling me “THIS IS NOT WHAT WE HAD IN MIND.” 

I was also uncomfortable because I was scared of what other people were going to think. That sucks, but I definitely remember myself researching why short men were so undesirable, and after talking to my friends about it, I came to the conclusion, if I was confident and happy in my relationship, but also in myself… who cares what other people think! Why should any of us dim our light, because we’re scared of the judgement, or opinions of someone else. 

Mindset Shift

Now, with all that being said, I truly believe taller women have it worse than shorter men. We are tired of the tall jokes. Cut the punchlines. “I’d climb that tree.” and NO we don’t all play basketball. I do, but not all of us!For someone who has struggled with fitting in, struggled with finding confidence in her height, one thing I hope my audience takes away from this blog post today is that, height is not just a number, it’s a lot more, I think for some of us, we gotta learn how to rock what was gifted to us. I can’t change the world, but I can try my best to change your perspective. Height doesn’t define connection, attraction, nor love. So whether you’re a tall woman towering over your man, or a short kind standing tall in confidence- OWN IT!